AZYLUM

1. ANATOLY

my personal mascot, badge guardian, and the ultimate based expert ruling over my desktop. anatoly isn't just some random piglet i spotted in Goblin's videos — he's a legendary icon with his own fan base (and a dark, shady past.....). i manually crafted him a legit denim vest that says "metal" and a t-shirt featuring the cult norwegian black metal band Mayhem. he grunts exclusively to the beat of heavy breakcore or filthy guitar distortion, and honestly, he does it with some serious style.

2. BACKYARD CERBERUS

a massive, badass stray dog who keeps our entire courtyard under tight lockdown. a literal living shield against annoying stray cats, local dogs, Jehovah's Witnesses, and any other uninvited guests. this beast eats for seven people, no joke - the cooking pot for his meals is literally the size of half a refrigerator.

3. FLUFFY BASTARDS

the criminal syndicate includes:

• Sima — aka Seraphima, Herashima, and "why the fuck are you going to the balcony for the eighth time". she terrorizes my pillows at night and sheds fur like crazy. honestly, at first we thought she was a boy
• Phil — aka Philka. seemingly the most sane one out of the pack, but he grew from a tiny little rat into an absolute titan who feels like he weighs a solid 35 pounds
• Anfisa — the most easily spooked out of everyone. she’s been living with us for 4 years, but acts like we just brought her home yesterday. pretty affectionate only if she decides to come to you herself
• Hard — the heavy artillery of the gang. my mom brings him over to visit every now and then, but he still hasn't managed to get along with anyone. he used to be fatter than Eric Cartman, but right now the floor just cracks under his feet

4. OTHER HOMIES // THE ORDER OF MENTAL DISORDERS

• BigHit — man, god bless you. an absolutely awesome guy. we can either laugh our lungs out till our hearts stop over a random fly on the wall or a dumb pinterest meme (скорая немощ❤), or we can sit and cry together at 3 AM. he’s a God-tier artist who makes video edits like he’s been doing it his whole life, yet he still manages to call his own work hot garbage
• Bob — a tiny delicious sweet baby child. owner of a badass room and a killer sense of humor (bro, how the fuck do you even come up with this stuff?). we’ve known each other for about 5 years, but it honestly feels like a solid 10
• Eggsy — umm, do i even need to say anything here? out of nowhere, he’ll drop some deep Jason Statham quote, followed by a reaction gif you’ll end up using for the rest of your life. she’s a cracked writer with a level of literacy that world-famous authors can only dream of
• Chigurh — our mental disorders just perfectly matched, and honestly, that’s more than enough. this is the guy you’d walk to berlin with on foot, and then head right back (well, at least by bus next time). he hooked me on all my current favorite fandoms (including Postal), so huge thanks for that, dear. also, a fully certified legend.

5. CHATS ROOM DUDES

Serezha — Serezha prime potato 67 228 1488 sigma creeper Tyler Durden knipki. a virgin, a total mistake of nature, motherless, living like an orphan with a brother who beats his ass every single day while wasting all his cash on golden weapons

Cool Potato Me — the founder of the great Potato Cult. drops the most motivational speeches to back up our religion (join us, it’s the only absolute truth)

Kisa — a loyal follower of the Potato Cult, potato literally gave her a reason to live. changes her profile pictures every 5 minutes, but they are always 10/10 badass. knipki ❤️❤️

Choco — the coolest creator of the almighty great knipki ❤️